Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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