smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I wish i was in the wii world.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Never underestimate the power of titties
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