Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
