I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
