I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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