Buhtt sex?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
