Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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