I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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