Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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