is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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