We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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