So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
