we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
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I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
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I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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