Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
