I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
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Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
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Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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