He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
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I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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