you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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