The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
