All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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