just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
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When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
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His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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