they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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