woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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