Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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