mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
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