he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
