I wannas sexs uuuuu
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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