ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize