Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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