I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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