Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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