I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
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I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
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We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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