dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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