My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
