So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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