So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
