DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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