I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
