I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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