when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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