I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
