Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize