we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
