my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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