Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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