Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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