it wasn't lemon gatorade
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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