i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
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we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
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The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.