shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just googled if crying burns calories
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You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Can you bring me the toilet please