I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?