My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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