she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"