Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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