i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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