Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I need moral support for this bender
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
