it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
