bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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