I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
