Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize