i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
