how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
