have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
